Table of Contents
MEXICO CITY — The Mexican Senate voted 94-12 Monday to rename the Strait of Hormuz the “Strait of America,” a move with no legal force, no practical effect, and absolutely no ambiguity about what it meant.
President Claudia Sheinbaum didn't mince words. “It’s Trump’s fucking mess, he should own it.”
The strait in question — a 21-mile-wide chokepoint between Iran and Oman that Mexico has never governed, patrolled, or been anywhere near — normally carries around 20% of the world’s petroleum and 20% of its liquified natural gas, with roughly 3,000 vessels transiting monthly. It is currently carrying almost none of that, because it is a war zone.
Since late February, the United States and Israel have conducted an air campaign against Iran, including the assassination of Supreme Leader Ali Khamenei. Iran responded by blocking the strait, attacking merchant ships, and laying sea mines. Shipping traffic has fallen to about 5% of normal levels. Global oil and gas prices have skyrocketed. Several Arab states were forced to cut or suspend oil production entirely.
Into this situation stepped the Mexican Senate, armed with a resolution and a point to make.
"President Trump has established that the naming of international waterways is, in fact, a matter of national preference," said Senator Rodrigo Alcántara, who authored the resolution. "Turns out, Mexico has a preference, motherfucker."
Within 12 hours, the Mexican government informed Google and Apple that their maps applications would be removed from Mexican app stores and their local offices subject to regulatory review unless the name change was reflected on their platforms. Both companies complied by Tuesday morning. Google Maps now shows “Strait of America” with “(Strait of Hormuz)” in small gray text. Apple Maps dropped the parenthetical entirely, either out of cleaner design instincts or a slightly greater fear of the Mexican Communications Ministry.
A Google spokesperson said the company "works to reflect official naming conventions in the regions where we operate," a nearly identical statement to the one it released when the United States renamed the Gulf of Mexico.
Apple said nothing, because Apple knows better.
Iran called the vote “confusing, but hilarious.” Iranian Foreign Minister Abbas Araqchi, already occupied with ongoing ceasefire negotiations, noted that Iran could not trust the Americans — and declined to comment on whether this extended to the Mexicans or to Silicon Valley.
Oman said nothing, as Oman rarely does.
The United States responded with a one-sentence State Department statement — “We are focused on other matters” — which is accurate. Those other matters include a naval blockade of Iranian ports and continued strikes on Iranian assets along the strait.
Predictably, President Trump weighed in on his Truth Social platform.
"The Fake News Media is totally ignoring the fact that Mexico, which has MANY problems of its own (Cartels, Crime, etc.), has STOLLEN [sic] my very successful Gulf of America idea and applied it to a Straight [sic] that they don't even own, and that I am currently WINNING. Cloudia Shinebum [sic], who I allegedly get along with very well (better than most people know!), should focus on her OWN country. The Strait of Hormoos [sic] is doing GREAT, by the way. Nobody has ever seen anything like what we're doing over there. MAKE STRAIGHTS [sic] GREAT AGAIN!"
President Sheinbaum did not respond on her own social media platform because she doesn't own her own social media platform.
But she did say "Disfruta tu estrecho, pinche culero” on X.
