Chris Christie Walking for President in 2028
The former governor confirmed he is not running, but is, in fact, more than willing to walk.
Politics
Trump Launches Picture-Based Social Media Platform that Enables Direct Communication with His Most Enthusiastic Supporters
🤴🏻🇺🇸💪🏻📜, known as “King America’s Powerful Edicts” among those who can read, is being hailed as “a celebration of illiteracy” by The New York Times. Newsmax called it “🐅🔥.”
Eric Trump Disinvited from Don Jr’s Wedding in First Ditch Effort to Secure President’s Attendance
A “Filet-O-Fish station” may follow, sources say, though planners are hopeful it won’t come to that.
Trump to Use ‘Anti-Weaponization Fund’ to Disarm Capitol Police
In an elegant two-part solution, the program will require Capitol police officers to participate in a mandatory buy-back program that compensates January 6 defendants with their weapons.
Mexico Renames Strait of Hormuz the "Strait of America"
“It’s Trump’s fucking mess,” President Claudia Sheinbaum told reporters outside the National Palace. “He should own it.”
Scientists Identify Part of Trump’s Brain Responsible For Exaggerating Numbers By 300%
Suspected neurons appear to intercept all quantitative values coming into the president’s speech center, say neuroscientists
Report: Shakira’s Hips Lied
“We need to haul her ass in here and ask it the questions the American people deserve answers to," demands Representative Jim Jordan.
Trans Males Absolutely Dominate Iron Man’s Inaugural “Homemaking Triathlon”
Biological men demand investigation.
Kellogg's Announces "Special RFK" In Partnership With HHS
Kellogg’s new government-backed cereal contains no seed oils, no added sugars, and "no artificial racoon meat."